Aka The Trinity Nightmare: a Bad Situation, an Artistic Emotional Basketcase, and a Public Space!
Aka How I Learned to Stop the Emotional Rollercoaster Mid Track and Ride the Waves to Hippie, I Mean, Happy Town!
Every once in a while we get presented with feedback, reviews, or a decision that we as an artist might not agree with. This can happen anywhere, but it can be made worse when we are at a big event, convention, and/or work related scenario.
Im not talking about something small here. I’m talking about something that hits us hard, sometimes to the core of who we are as artists. And then it wiggles deeper into how we think of ourselves as a person.
This kind of feedback or decision can sometimes shake our faith in our ability to create, to network, to love ourself, and to honor our art. It can even get so big in our head, that if followed, we decide to give up and walk away. We can decide to abandon any effort to try and give in to a world full of haters and negativity.
Now, maybe you’re lucky. Maybe you aren’t encountered a moment like that. Maybe your creativity path has been roses and butterflies and fans of your art form lavishing you with kisses and praises. But I know very few that have had it that easy. And by very few, I mean none.
So what happens in this situation? What do I do when my soul has been crushed and I’m thinking I would rather swallow hot coals than ever write/create again?
And while it may feel like I’m being histrionic, all it takes is A:) one read of one horrible review or one email with a negative tone B:) received at the worst possible time or C:) getting blind sided with not-so-great news (which for me is even more difficult to handle with finesse).
So, what to do?
Well, here is my five step plan to dealing with rough situations:
Step One: Smile through the news. Be professional and polite as much as possible. Don’t be fake, but don’t use the fact that someone or something just shit all over your/my parade as an excuse to be rude, mean, or an asshole to the person giving you/me the news. In most situations, they did not delight to making you/me aware of the badness. And if they did delight or you/me perceived they did, that’s still not an excuse to throw a hissy fit. It’s an opportunity to be the better person and rise above being a obdurate child.
Aka suck it up, buttercup. For this moment, the world is not your/my oyster. In this space, I am trapped in a port-a-potty (or under it) and I just need to understand that manure eventually makes every growing thing more beautiful. In the future. Just not at this second.
Step Two: If you can’t smile through it, or you’re like me and you realize the bottle is strong but will break shortly, excuse yourself for a few minutes or however long it takes to take the cap off and let the carbonated energy calm down.
My wife and my dearest friends can tell you, when I get super upset, I cry. Not pretty, but ugly loud tears that scare people.In the past, I didn’t care if people saw me. It feed my inner drama queen. I wanted the attention.
Nowadays, not so much.
If something affects me deeply, I pull away from the crowd because I have learned that I can affect the mood and create chaos as much as I can bring calm, positivity, and love. And I make the choice to bring the latter, not the former.
Step three: Because I am a loquacious person to the nth degree, I need to talk to process information. I need people who won’t coddle me but are going to be sensitive to the fact that I am vulnerable and that vulnerability is one of my strengths. I take everything very deeply, even things that some people would defect, which is why I fight for positive thinking. So, I surround myself with people who know this/me. These people will either pull me out of the deep end of the pool; or they will jump in the water and be my life preservers. Either way, I trust them and they wrap me in a blanket of good energy and then slap me with as much reality as they think I can handle at that moment. For me, this is a very private process. I don’t want a crowd or hugs or spectators. I want my near and dear, those that won’t go a-gossiping.
Because that generally makes things worse. And I am NOT a fan of drama off stage and screen!
Step Four: Do not apply alcohol. I know me, I know how alcohol affects my emotions and amplifies everything good or bad. If I do apply vodka, rum, or whiskey, I do so carefully and cautiously. And for the most part, privately. I’m a fan of “nobody needs to deal with my brand of stupid” which is why I don’t drink in public very often anyway.
Step Five: Find the positive! This is the most important step for me. Start a pro/con list, talk to people who are positive-prone (step three) and will help adjust the point of view. There is literally no situation that doesn’t have a positive. Granted, some are much harder to find. But I guarantee it’s there. Find it, hold it, write it down, repeat in your mind or verbally, whatever it takes to become the mantra, a safe haven in a Sharkado!
Step Six: This is my bonus step…Chocolate, candy, books, or bananas…pick your poison and celebrate your life! Because you only get one and it’s way too short to stay caught up in the web of drama, hysterics, and bad juju!
Questions? Thoughts?
wtprater 
::big hugs::
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